and now a word from E.E. (coupled with more talks of disparity and clarity so it's pretty good)

Please bear with me as I complain about my progressing mental process and try to take the journey with me, as I know on the surface it may appear that I drift. I've been thinking a lot lately (which can be dangerous, ask pretty much anyone) about my future and how obtainable it feels, while concurrently feeling that I'm never going to get there. My goal is to teach literature at the college level, which I am fairly confidant that I am capable of doing; my struggle is time. I checked my course requirements for transfer and I'm not four classes away, I'm eight: which isn't a terrible stretch (well it's twice the original number but still) but that eight classes is in addition to the remaining (approximately) 20 classes I have to take before I'll even have my bachelor's degree. At that point, hopefully I can get picked up by a school to teach freshman comp while I get my master's and then I can teach for real. Ideally, this will take about 3-4 years and I'll be able to stay in the area, preferably at Wright State (not going to lie, my heart wants Miami but it's an awfully long drive to Oxford from Huber). But there are no guarantees, no certainties that I am doing the right thing with my time, money, and life.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” 

― E.E. Cummings

thank you, E.E. for always having an appropriate sentiment for my trials and tribulations. I was surprised to see his name absent from the American Lit 2 syllabus, but understandably as every person has specific preferences when it comes to authors and poets I won't always have the opportunity to always focus on my preferred works. To be honest, the following is probably one of my favorite poems (and happens to be an E.E. Cummings work!)

she being Brand

she being Brand

-new;and you
know consequently a
little stiff I was
careful of her and (having

thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch (and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell) next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg.       ing(my

lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning) just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

                              (it
was the first ride and believe I we was
happy to see how nice and acted right up to
the last minute coming back down by the Public
Gardens I slammed on
the

internalexpanding
&
externalcontracting
breaks Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB
-ling
to a:dead.

stand-
;Still)

I laughed all the way through this poem the first time I read it, and still laugh as I read it now. I adore everything about it- the structure, word choices, double entendre, the whole nine yards. For anyone whom is unfamiliar with E.E. Cummings, please check out his work. It's fantastic. 

The point I am trying to reach is that no matter the seeming set-backs and slip ups, there is always a silver lining to everything. I may be 30 by the time I am out of school, but the point is that I'll be doing something that I love so what does it matter how long it's going to take to get there? I'll be getting paid to read and talk about books with people. How awesome is that? not to mention that I can decide (within the guidelines obviously) what we do in the classes I teach. I've had so many influential professors (and teachers before college) that inspired me and made me think that I cannot wait for the opportunity to (hopefully) inspire others and make them think.